The playground near its corners was populated with numerous small groups of friends sitting and lazing around. Meanwhile, the 14 of us covered the majority of the pitch as we started with our routine daily match of football in the afternoon. Some had bunked classes to be there on time for the match. But it was worth it. The weather was outstanding, just ideal for a football match, cloudy yet breezy. There was no hint of sun. The whole look of the day was pretty grayish, almost monochromatic. The match hence was being played with higher spirits and zeal, higher energies. On a day like that, the stamina’s increased, everyone felt like running an extra yard, dribbling the ball through the midfield like a Brazilian, it was after all ‘the beautiful game’. Our college bags were kept together forming heaps to form the poles of goals. I used to be a player predominantly on the right wing. Hence I was closer to the students sitting in chunks of 4-5 near the boundaries and corners of the playground. Time and again it would so happen that the ball would roll out of play and hit one of them. I would go to them and ask for the ball, even say sorry if it had hit a girl. But then this time even though the ball did not roll out, I noticed a group of 3 students sitting quite close to the periphery of our playing area. No wonder why I noticed them. Gauri was there. I just knew her by her name and face. She was a year junior to me, in a different course, so there was no natural way of knowing each other. I was just so madly in love with her that I had to ask a common friend to introduce me to her. She also knew me by face and name, quite lame! We used to say ‘hi’ to each other whenever we crossed paths, but that was it. I grew weak in my knees whenever I used to see her. Now this was my chance. I was now extremely eager to impress her. So I went up to her and said ‘hi’. She replied back and said ‘hi’ too. What this did was that my presence was now felt. Now I would play skillfully and try and be brilliant, and hope gauri watches it. I did just that. I demanded the ball every time my team was attacking. I gave artistic first touches, carried the ball solo through, into the penalty box quite a few times. I absolutely did not realize that it had been raining for the past few minutes now. When I did, I immediately turned to check if gauri was still around. She wasn’t certainly sitting anymore. I scanned through the playground like a hawk, saw various couples standing under trees, ‘enjoying’ the young rain. I had lost track of the ball, my eyes wandered, in pain, just hoping to catch a glimpse of gauri somewhere. I think she saw me before I saw her, because what she did next was so out of the book for her. I noticed she was under the science block roof, but then she came out in the rain, closed her eyes, and let her arms wide open, embracing the rain. I wished if I could zoom into her face, look at the water droplets bouncing off her face, and some rolling through. She just looked immaculately beautiful. I’m not sure about this part, but I think I saw her smile and look at me. I just knew I had to propose to her, there can be no two ways about it.
I turned back and saw that all my football mates were gone. By now another friend of hers had joined gauri in the rain. I picked up my wet bag and went to my classroom. I didn’t feel like going back home, and I felt like coming to college again the next day as soon as possible. With mixed ideas, I came out of my class and started for my home. I met gauri again downstairs, chatting with her friends, as the rain had ended up into only a minor drizzle by now. She saw me coming downstairs and then towards her. I smiled and said ‘bye’, she smiled back and said ‘bye’ too.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The Adult film
Jatin, my younger brother, was just younger due to his chronological age. he had matured at 'all' levels more than me much before he saw his teens, and i was almost finishing my teens by then. i'm not sure of the reason how this happened, may be because our younger lot are exposed to television and internet a lot earlier than we were. add to that the intelligence jatin was gifted with, he learnt things faster than kids at his age would. hence his eagerness to know more was inevitable, and invariably it was not possible to stop him from knowing things that were necessarily adult.
i think what made the difference in his case was that he was so keen on growing up, and being the so called 'mature individual', that he couldn't just help killing the kid in him. i would take opinions from him regarding my relationships, dad would ask him on the possible solutions if there was a problem at his work place, mom would share her kitty party conflicts with him. what resulted was a jatin, with more than enough knowledge at his age, and hence an over confident 'under-aged adult'. he would needlessly comment on sachin's dismissal, as if he was a connoisseur of cricket, he would not see commercial films like 'ddlj' and 'kkhh' and rather watch something like a 'fire' or 'satya', almost deliberately trying to show off his taste of things. all this and much more irritated me.i don't know whether i was jealous, or pissed, but i was starting to hate him everyday. the problem i thought was the fact that he himself understood his gift. i feel more often than not, if someone has a special talent, the realization of that quality tends to make the person snobbish and uselessly arrogant. jatin knew a lot of things, true, period. but he was still 12, there were things even if he knew, he couldn't possibly have understood. then why the hell were we treating him like that, weren't we responsible for his wrong grooming?
even i was just 18, i could not have answered all the questions i had. i had to come up with my own solutions. i decided to prove to my parents, by hook or by crook, that jatin was growing up the wrong way. i wanted to prove them that he is not using his gift and channelizing it in the correct path, therefore resulting into a kid who's turned into a brat. atleast this would stop all the pampering he used to get at home.
for days i tried finding flaws in him, trying to peep into his classroom, his bedroom, and when he is all alone using the computer or watching television. i tried meeting his friends too, apprehending that they might tell me if jatin had been drinking alcohol or may be even taking drugs, through friends from senior classes. but nothing of that sort popped out.
after almost a month of rigorous spying and sleuthing on jatin, i almost lost hope. i was slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that he's truly gifted and that he deserves all the attention and accolade. after a point of time, i was so convinced, that i had started talking about him amidst my classmates, praising jatin for his amazing intellectuality at 12. all my friends wanted to meet him. after all he was in the same school. it wasn't very tough to bring him to my classroom during the lunch break and introduce him to my friends. i decided to bring him the next day. as i went back home, with excitement, and keenness to tell jatin that i would take him to my class tomorrow, i saw him standing next to my mother outside our gate. even from a distance i could make out that my mother was waiting for me, and due to some reason extremely anguished. as i went closer, something in her hand became visible. it was a video cd, with its cover. infact, it was indeed the video cd of the pornographic film i had borrowed from one of my friends. after a series of slaps, my mom disclosed that jatin found it on my study table, under my maths text book.
i think what made the difference in his case was that he was so keen on growing up, and being the so called 'mature individual', that he couldn't just help killing the kid in him. i would take opinions from him regarding my relationships, dad would ask him on the possible solutions if there was a problem at his work place, mom would share her kitty party conflicts with him. what resulted was a jatin, with more than enough knowledge at his age, and hence an over confident 'under-aged adult'. he would needlessly comment on sachin's dismissal, as if he was a connoisseur of cricket, he would not see commercial films like 'ddlj' and 'kkhh' and rather watch something like a 'fire' or 'satya', almost deliberately trying to show off his taste of things. all this and much more irritated me.i don't know whether i was jealous, or pissed, but i was starting to hate him everyday. the problem i thought was the fact that he himself understood his gift. i feel more often than not, if someone has a special talent, the realization of that quality tends to make the person snobbish and uselessly arrogant. jatin knew a lot of things, true, period. but he was still 12, there were things even if he knew, he couldn't possibly have understood. then why the hell were we treating him like that, weren't we responsible for his wrong grooming?
even i was just 18, i could not have answered all the questions i had. i had to come up with my own solutions. i decided to prove to my parents, by hook or by crook, that jatin was growing up the wrong way. i wanted to prove them that he is not using his gift and channelizing it in the correct path, therefore resulting into a kid who's turned into a brat. atleast this would stop all the pampering he used to get at home.
for days i tried finding flaws in him, trying to peep into his classroom, his bedroom, and when he is all alone using the computer or watching television. i tried meeting his friends too, apprehending that they might tell me if jatin had been drinking alcohol or may be even taking drugs, through friends from senior classes. but nothing of that sort popped out.
after almost a month of rigorous spying and sleuthing on jatin, i almost lost hope. i was slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that he's truly gifted and that he deserves all the attention and accolade. after a point of time, i was so convinced, that i had started talking about him amidst my classmates, praising jatin for his amazing intellectuality at 12. all my friends wanted to meet him. after all he was in the same school. it wasn't very tough to bring him to my classroom during the lunch break and introduce him to my friends. i decided to bring him the next day. as i went back home, with excitement, and keenness to tell jatin that i would take him to my class tomorrow, i saw him standing next to my mother outside our gate. even from a distance i could make out that my mother was waiting for me, and due to some reason extremely anguished. as i went closer, something in her hand became visible. it was a video cd, with its cover. infact, it was indeed the video cd of the pornographic film i had borrowed from one of my friends. after a series of slaps, my mom disclosed that jatin found it on my study table, under my maths text book.
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