The elections were too close; you could almost smell the red flags around. This time, the city was vastly peaceful. But one can never predict anything in Calcutta, any moment the riots would break out. The communist party members were the noisiest, as usual, with their marches and slogans. For years they have been ruling, very much like dictators! The people almost had no choice, but to vote for them. For some, it was to survive, or else they’ll be slaughtered to death. Yes, it was like that, not without reason did I use the word ‘dictators’.
My stint with the communist party was pretty small, yet people had managed to remember me after almost a decade now of my leaving the party. Though it’s not very tough to see the reason why. Perhaps I was the only one they thought who was not pushing the lines of violence in order to maintain our Marxist ideals! I remained active in my tenure of two years with my mind boggling speeches, although out of a million new ideas I had suggested, only a handful were implemented, and that too not with complete success. Yet I managed to remain the poster boy of Bengal’s politics in the early 90’s. Now after a long time, I’m back into mainstream politics with Trinamool, standing up from arguably the most controversial district at this moment in Bengal, that being of Singur. Mamati di has been very strong and vehement about not allowing Singur to get into Tata’s hands. The farmers here could have been in deep soup, without home and land, if mamata di hadn’t stepped in and ridiculed Buddhadeb’s plans! The people here were happy with us. The rumour was that I was undoubtedly going to win, with a huge margin! Even to just hear this was extremely comforting. It meant healing up of a lot of old wounds!
People were lining up outside booths in massive numbers on the Election Day. So many people together and each having so much power with a vote each, the power of democracy was beginning to scare me now! In my years of graduation in Vardhaman, during which I studied political science, I had read about the initialization of the democratic system, which required mass scale literacy. That being missing from our system, democratic liberty was certainly getting misused. This is what perhaps was scaring me. But the elections were held rather finely, without any ‘major’ chaos in the state. The speculations had now taken the form of betting, people had put money on parties and leaders. Huge money was on stake, from people involved. Days went by, as the temperature of the political environment and my blood pressure increased by leaps. The result day was here, I decided to stay at my home and wait for the news to reach me through television and phone calls.
My victory meant a lot to me personally, not just my party. Even though Trinamool swept around 75-80% of the seats, the one from my district tasted the sweetest, arguably. I planned a weekend trip with my wife and son to Ghoom, a beautiful place, almost heavenly, which comes on the way to Darjeeling from Bagdogra. My wife had always wished to visit the Ghoom monastery, and I could not have found a better time to go there and relax for a couple of days. The mist and the clouds floating in front of our eyes made it difficult for my camera to make crystal clear pictures, but the hard disc in my brain will never have the visuals foggy. I had never seen a place so intimate, and so divine. ‘Ghoom’ in bengali means sleep, and so true to its name. The place ensures one’s relaxation, almost as if you’re sound asleep. We went in the evening to the monastery after a short nap in the afternoon as soon as we arrived. The clouds accompanied us at our eye level, as if touching and speaking to us. But I did not know that they would turn out to be the monsters.
My wife and son have not been found yet, dead or alive since then. I frantically tried but I just couldn’t locate them, the clouds had helped the kidnappers!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
One Seven
There were more than a hundred well dressed young people waiting for their turn. When I had started from my home, I had thought this would be a cake walk. And here I was, once again trapped between complacence and destiny! I took a corner seat, trying to avoid as many close sitting candidates as possible. I tried to ignore stares from quite a few of them, and innocently sat with my bio-data file on my lap. In these kind of situations, my behavioral patterns always tended to go a bit feminine, my voice turning softer, tone a lot sweeter, and ass trying to occupy as much little space possible wherever I was sitting. Although after a few minutes, things started becoming more masculine. I felt a part of the group now, and my body language was improving every second. And just then, a girl sitting next to me spoke
“Are you applying for journalism?”
“No, I’m for advertising. Why?
“Oh, just like that! I get very nervous when I see so many people appearing for the same thing as me. So was just checking how many am I really competing with!”
“I see”
“By the way, I’m kaushiki”
“Hi, I’m Norton”
“Antivirus??”
“Oh common, Norton Desouza! I’ve heard that antivirus thing a thousand times. Its not even funny anymore”
“So you are a Catholic?”
“Yes”
“You don’t look like one!”
“Then how do Catholics look like?”
She couldn’t answer as the invigilator called out her name aloud – “ Kaushiki Dasgupta….Room number 4”
She got up from her chair in a bit of disarray, and almost pushed me while asking-
“Wish me luck!!”
“All the best, you’ll be great!”
“Thanks so much man”
She left as I saw her get into Room number 4. She looked confident while entering the room though. “Kaushiki Dasgupta” I thought. “Bengali….hmm…..doesn’t look like one”, I spoke to myself. She had typically north Indian features, and then the complexion to go with it. If it wouldn’t have been my nervousness for my interview, I would have had a crush on her by now. And also she didn’t carry that irritating Bengali accent with an ‘o’ instead of an ‘a’ wherever ‘a’ exists. The way she introduced herself, was very non Bengali, or else she would have pronounced it like “Kowsheeki”, but she didn’t
Anyway, I needed to get back to my advertising frame of mind. My turn would be very soon. In a couple of minutes, kaushiki came out of room number 4, stood next to my chair and said
“It was good, I think I’ll make it. Chal, I’ll be going now, my boyfriend is waiting downstairs!”
“Ok great, goodluck, bye!”
“Goodluck to you antivirus, bye!”
We had both made it to the institute that year, and were in our respective courses for the next 2 years. We kept meeting each other every now and then in college, even though we had different set of friends. We remembered each other’s birthdays & wished right at the stroke of midnight, a new age trend of wishing birthdays that had cropped up recently that time. We passed out, she got placed with CNBC, I was free lancing initially. But then for a lot of years, there was no correspondence from either side. Both our cell numbers had changed, hence it was even more difficult to now find out about each other.
But then yesterday, after 17 years, we crashed into each other at an awards function. My ad-film was nominated for the best ad-film of the year. Although I didn’t win, I got rave responses, including kaushiki’s! She said
“Wow! You’ve become a big shot, antivirus. Fabulous film!”
“Oh my God, Kaushiki? Where have you been?”
“All around the world! But hey, nice meeting you after almost 2 decades!”
“Same here, are you back in Mumbai?”
“Yes yes! Listen..i need to leave right now, my husband’s waiting, can I have your number, I’ll give you a call soon!”
“Sure man, 9728093611. Give me a miss call, I’ll save yours!”
“I’ll in a while. Sorry I need to rush, bye!”
I waited the whole night, and it’s almost 17 hours now, but she hasn’t given me a missed call.
Brrrrrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
My cell phone valiantly vibrated till I picked it up.
“Hello…”
“Antivirus, kaushiki here. How long will it take you to reach Infinity mall? I’m getting bored, let’s catch up!
“Alright, I’ll be there in a while, wait!”
“In how much time?”
“Around half an hour”
I reached in 17 minutes.
“Are you applying for journalism?”
“No, I’m for advertising. Why?
“Oh, just like that! I get very nervous when I see so many people appearing for the same thing as me. So was just checking how many am I really competing with!”
“I see”
“By the way, I’m kaushiki”
“Hi, I’m Norton”
“Antivirus??”
“Oh common, Norton Desouza! I’ve heard that antivirus thing a thousand times. Its not even funny anymore”
“So you are a Catholic?”
“Yes”
“You don’t look like one!”
“Then how do Catholics look like?”
She couldn’t answer as the invigilator called out her name aloud – “ Kaushiki Dasgupta….Room number 4”
She got up from her chair in a bit of disarray, and almost pushed me while asking-
“Wish me luck!!”
“All the best, you’ll be great!”
“Thanks so much man”
She left as I saw her get into Room number 4. She looked confident while entering the room though. “Kaushiki Dasgupta” I thought. “Bengali….hmm…..doesn’t look like one”, I spoke to myself. She had typically north Indian features, and then the complexion to go with it. If it wouldn’t have been my nervousness for my interview, I would have had a crush on her by now. And also she didn’t carry that irritating Bengali accent with an ‘o’ instead of an ‘a’ wherever ‘a’ exists. The way she introduced herself, was very non Bengali, or else she would have pronounced it like “Kowsheeki”, but she didn’t
Anyway, I needed to get back to my advertising frame of mind. My turn would be very soon. In a couple of minutes, kaushiki came out of room number 4, stood next to my chair and said
“It was good, I think I’ll make it. Chal, I’ll be going now, my boyfriend is waiting downstairs!”
“Ok great, goodluck, bye!”
“Goodluck to you antivirus, bye!”
We had both made it to the institute that year, and were in our respective courses for the next 2 years. We kept meeting each other every now and then in college, even though we had different set of friends. We remembered each other’s birthdays & wished right at the stroke of midnight, a new age trend of wishing birthdays that had cropped up recently that time. We passed out, she got placed with CNBC, I was free lancing initially. But then for a lot of years, there was no correspondence from either side. Both our cell numbers had changed, hence it was even more difficult to now find out about each other.
But then yesterday, after 17 years, we crashed into each other at an awards function. My ad-film was nominated for the best ad-film of the year. Although I didn’t win, I got rave responses, including kaushiki’s! She said
“Wow! You’ve become a big shot, antivirus. Fabulous film!”
“Oh my God, Kaushiki? Where have you been?”
“All around the world! But hey, nice meeting you after almost 2 decades!”
“Same here, are you back in Mumbai?”
“Yes yes! Listen..i need to leave right now, my husband’s waiting, can I have your number, I’ll give you a call soon!”
“Sure man, 9728093611. Give me a miss call, I’ll save yours!”
“I’ll in a while. Sorry I need to rush, bye!”
I waited the whole night, and it’s almost 17 hours now, but she hasn’t given me a missed call.
Brrrrrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
My cell phone valiantly vibrated till I picked it up.
“Hello…”
“Antivirus, kaushiki here. How long will it take you to reach Infinity mall? I’m getting bored, let’s catch up!
“Alright, I’ll be there in a while, wait!”
“In how much time?”
“Around half an hour”
I reached in 17 minutes.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
During Turin
I and my wife always fight. Here’s one of our recent telephonic conversations:
Me: I hope you are coming on time…
Her: of course
Me: cool then, don’t get late
Her: whaaat?? Did you just say don’t get laid?
Me: whaaat?? Are you insane? Why will I say that, I said don’t get late, l for lousy, a for ass, t for torture, e for eternity!
Her: (on top of her lungs) how dare you speak to me like that?
Me: like what? I just was kind enough to spell out a word which is almost your middle name.
Her: no! That was deliberate. You could have said l for lovely a for….. you know….something like that.
Me: see..exactly. There are no nice words that would describe you. Even you could just remember ‘lovely’ spontaneously, which I agree you were 10 years back!
And this went on.
I had a friend working in Turin for long. He was the one who encouraged me to come to Italy, as he said many Asians, and particularly the ones from the subcontinent, come and earn a more than a decent living there. He had spoken about things which I had not heard of. Like one was this that there in Italian cities, people keep old stuff which they don’t want any more outside their houses, and the needful could take them to their homes without any restrictions! I was amazed on listening to such a custom. Though when I reached Italy, it was more of an ambitious dream coming true rather than putting logicalities together. I had seen beautiful and flamboyant pictures and scenes from films of Venice; I could have never imagined a place like that if I wouldn’t have seen them. My friend assured me of a job there with him, hence it was easier for me to come so far away from my country and work here. Now I’m in Naples. After a few months with my friend at Turin, I shifted base to Naples. Through a few Bangladeshi friends of my friend, I got contacts in Naples to get employed as the driver of Deigo Maradona. I drove from his place to the Stadio San Paolo where he practiced with the rest of his Napoli team mates, and then back to his place after the sessions. He used to drive himself whenever he went to parties or pubs in the night. People around me had started saying that Maradona is past his prime now, and that his genius is on the decline. From the little I understood of Maradona’s mobile conversations while he sat in the car as I drove him, I could make out that he was unhappy in his personal life, he was asking for drugs and women at his place late at night. I kept out of all this and did my job the way every driver should, and that was to drive him safely to his destination.
My wife arrived finally, but as expected half an hour late than what I had asked her to. We were in Turin, at the Delle Alpi, home of Juventus. This was Maradona’s big day. Italian Serie A champions was going to be virtually decided that eve, whoever wins would pick up the title. Infact Napoli had to win; Juventus was higher on goal difference so even a draw couldn’t have helped Maradona’s 11. He had given me 2 special passes for me and my wife for this match, something he had never done before. Here is how it went when my ‘not at all the better half’ arrived and sat beside me:
Her: We must win this one, we can’t afford a draw.
Me: We? Who are ‘we’?
Her: Napoli you idiot! We are from Naples, do you remember?
Me: Of course I remember, but since when have you become such an ardent follower of the Napoli football club?
Her: why else do you think I came here to watch a match with you? I have been a huge fan of Maradona since childhood.
Me: since childhood? How old are you?
Her: are you retarded? I’m your fucking wife; you don’t know how old am I?
I decided to stay quite then, it was fast becoming a scene infront of the sophisticated people we were sitting around. The match was being played mainly in the midfield, something that happens quite regularly in a clash of good Italian club teams as both defend par excellence.
Her: I wish we had Maldini in our defense line up, he would have single handedly stopped all these fuckers in black and white stripes! Besides he’s so cute!
Me: that’s all you like about him, women can only look at footballers in a frivolous way!
She gave me a stare, which told me I won’t be spared once we reach back home. But I was confident of what I said; I mean Napoli really didn’t have the budget to afford Maradona & Maldini in the same team. But expecting her to know all this was being foolish in itself. Football was not her ‘plate of pasta’ anyway. It was nil nil till almost closing time, when through a free kick awarded just outside the box, Maradona audaciously put the ball in the net with his majestic left foot. Delle Alpi burst out in a huge roar. Even though this was Juventus’s home ground, there were enough Napoli fans to make Turin feel like Naples for that moment. His teammates carried Maradona on their shoulders to the dressing room after full time.
Her: We won! We won! Forza Napoli!
She gave me a hug and kissed me on my cheek. It felt good. This had not happened for a long time.
Me: Yes! Yes! We are the 1990 Serie A champions! Yohoooooooooooooo…
I shouted. She had her left hand on my waist holding me tight and jumping with joy. We jumped together! Perhaps I felt my love for her again. One celebration together had made us come so near. She now looked the same effervescent girl I had fallen for in my virginity days. I wanted to make love to her now. I hadn’t kissed her lips for some time, and we hadn’t made love for a long time. She asked me to wait next to my car, as she left for the washroom. I waited for nearly 30 minutes, but that was understandable, as washrooms after the match are queued to long lengths, men and women waiting for their turn to use their respective lavatories. She came back and spoke almost with impatience.
Her: Where is Deigo Maradona?
Me: He must be in his dressing room with his teammates celebrating, why?
Her: aren’t you going to take him back to his hotel tonight?
Me: No, he will be partying with his friends. He’ll be on his own.
Her: Can you please take me there?
Me: Where?
Her: To the place he’s going to party…
Me: What? Why?
Her: Listen…I’ll tell you everything, please take me to him right now!
Me: I hope you are coming on time…
Her: of course
Me: cool then, don’t get late
Her: whaaat?? Did you just say don’t get laid?
Me: whaaat?? Are you insane? Why will I say that, I said don’t get late, l for lousy, a for ass, t for torture, e for eternity!
Her: (on top of her lungs) how dare you speak to me like that?
Me: like what? I just was kind enough to spell out a word which is almost your middle name.
Her: no! That was deliberate. You could have said l for lovely a for….. you know….something like that.
Me: see..exactly. There are no nice words that would describe you. Even you could just remember ‘lovely’ spontaneously, which I agree you were 10 years back!
And this went on.
I had a friend working in Turin for long. He was the one who encouraged me to come to Italy, as he said many Asians, and particularly the ones from the subcontinent, come and earn a more than a decent living there. He had spoken about things which I had not heard of. Like one was this that there in Italian cities, people keep old stuff which they don’t want any more outside their houses, and the needful could take them to their homes without any restrictions! I was amazed on listening to such a custom. Though when I reached Italy, it was more of an ambitious dream coming true rather than putting logicalities together. I had seen beautiful and flamboyant pictures and scenes from films of Venice; I could have never imagined a place like that if I wouldn’t have seen them. My friend assured me of a job there with him, hence it was easier for me to come so far away from my country and work here. Now I’m in Naples. After a few months with my friend at Turin, I shifted base to Naples. Through a few Bangladeshi friends of my friend, I got contacts in Naples to get employed as the driver of Deigo Maradona. I drove from his place to the Stadio San Paolo where he practiced with the rest of his Napoli team mates, and then back to his place after the sessions. He used to drive himself whenever he went to parties or pubs in the night. People around me had started saying that Maradona is past his prime now, and that his genius is on the decline. From the little I understood of Maradona’s mobile conversations while he sat in the car as I drove him, I could make out that he was unhappy in his personal life, he was asking for drugs and women at his place late at night. I kept out of all this and did my job the way every driver should, and that was to drive him safely to his destination.
My wife arrived finally, but as expected half an hour late than what I had asked her to. We were in Turin, at the Delle Alpi, home of Juventus. This was Maradona’s big day. Italian Serie A champions was going to be virtually decided that eve, whoever wins would pick up the title. Infact Napoli had to win; Juventus was higher on goal difference so even a draw couldn’t have helped Maradona’s 11. He had given me 2 special passes for me and my wife for this match, something he had never done before. Here is how it went when my ‘not at all the better half’ arrived and sat beside me:
Her: We must win this one, we can’t afford a draw.
Me: We? Who are ‘we’?
Her: Napoli you idiot! We are from Naples, do you remember?
Me: Of course I remember, but since when have you become such an ardent follower of the Napoli football club?
Her: why else do you think I came here to watch a match with you? I have been a huge fan of Maradona since childhood.
Me: since childhood? How old are you?
Her: are you retarded? I’m your fucking wife; you don’t know how old am I?
I decided to stay quite then, it was fast becoming a scene infront of the sophisticated people we were sitting around. The match was being played mainly in the midfield, something that happens quite regularly in a clash of good Italian club teams as both defend par excellence.
Her: I wish we had Maldini in our defense line up, he would have single handedly stopped all these fuckers in black and white stripes! Besides he’s so cute!
Me: that’s all you like about him, women can only look at footballers in a frivolous way!
She gave me a stare, which told me I won’t be spared once we reach back home. But I was confident of what I said; I mean Napoli really didn’t have the budget to afford Maradona & Maldini in the same team. But expecting her to know all this was being foolish in itself. Football was not her ‘plate of pasta’ anyway. It was nil nil till almost closing time, when through a free kick awarded just outside the box, Maradona audaciously put the ball in the net with his majestic left foot. Delle Alpi burst out in a huge roar. Even though this was Juventus’s home ground, there were enough Napoli fans to make Turin feel like Naples for that moment. His teammates carried Maradona on their shoulders to the dressing room after full time.
Her: We won! We won! Forza Napoli!
She gave me a hug and kissed me on my cheek. It felt good. This had not happened for a long time.
Me: Yes! Yes! We are the 1990 Serie A champions! Yohoooooooooooooo…
I shouted. She had her left hand on my waist holding me tight and jumping with joy. We jumped together! Perhaps I felt my love for her again. One celebration together had made us come so near. She now looked the same effervescent girl I had fallen for in my virginity days. I wanted to make love to her now. I hadn’t kissed her lips for some time, and we hadn’t made love for a long time. She asked me to wait next to my car, as she left for the washroom. I waited for nearly 30 minutes, but that was understandable, as washrooms after the match are queued to long lengths, men and women waiting for their turn to use their respective lavatories. She came back and spoke almost with impatience.
Her: Where is Deigo Maradona?
Me: He must be in his dressing room with his teammates celebrating, why?
Her: aren’t you going to take him back to his hotel tonight?
Me: No, he will be partying with his friends. He’ll be on his own.
Her: Can you please take me there?
Me: Where?
Her: To the place he’s going to party…
Me: What? Why?
Her: Listen…I’ll tell you everything, please take me to him right now!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
The Half Truth
Dear Editor,
I am behind bars. After much persistence, efforts and coaxing, these people gave me your postal address. I hope this reaches you and you go through it without throwing it in the bin even before looking at it. Sorry for my harsh words, but kindly understand what state of mind I’m presently in.
I’ve been here in this dingy smelly lock up for the past 8 months. These guys arrested me from my work place. I’m a civil engineer, now after 27 years of experience, have got into the design aspect of construction. I’ve been presently working for the metro constructions in the capital, I mean I was working, till I got arrested. I’m sure you remember the major accident when the under construction pier fell down and led to a few people’s lives. I was one of the few who were arrested. It’s been a year now but I still remember every detail of the visual in front of my eyes. I was on site after the accident, but then when I saw the chaos and the disastrous outcome, I tried hiding my face somewhere, choking with guilt and shame. I was one of the chief designers of the metro bridge dissecting through that part of Delhi. Although it was not the first one to be built in Delhi, and we had done a few before, this one was the first of its kinds. It was crossing through a locality that had a steep diversion, and hence it was designed to have two piers rather than one central to keep the bridge balanced. It was accepted and approved by all governing authorities, and only then did we start with the construction. But once the construction began, slowly but surely we understood, at least I understood that it is going wrong. There wasn’t enough space for two piers, there are residential colonies on both sides and it will be majorly blocking or may be even crashing into them when the piers get made. I immediately informed my seniors and asked them to look into the matter, as the construction had just begun and it was still possible for a makeover.
The idea travelled sluggishly through the clogged arteries of the obese organization I was working in. It wasn’t accepted till they finally saw it themselves. And at that moment again, all designers were called and asked to brainstorm and find out a solution. In such cases, the only solution we felt could now solve was to make a single pier cantilever, removing the other. There are success cases of cantilever constructions within the city itself, so the proposed idea looked executable. But yet there was this problem. I saw it coming again. Since the original design of the bridge was through two piers, suddenly making it cantilever could result in a weak base. For such cases, the whole basic formation is different in a way that the balance is shifted completely on the beams.
I did not speak or discuss this with anyone, may be with this intuition that again nothing will be done about it till they themselves find out. I know I have been spineless in keeping quiet about it, and perhaps I even deserve a punishment. All I want from you sir is to not let this incident pass into people’s minds as such a basic error with a few designers being faulty at their jobs. There is much more to it which I’ve tried telling you through this confessional letter, more of which I’ll describe once I get a reply from you.
Thank you for your cooperation involved in the above stated matter,
Yours sincerely,
Krishna Iyer
My boss suddenly appeared on my desk,
“What’s up Arnab, any interesting letters today?”
“Yes sir, there are a couple, one is of this lady who says she was a prostitute in her past life, and she visits all her customers and her families everyday in her dreams, and that too sequentially and the other is…”
“Oh fantastic, I only have one column for you this week Arnab, get this lady on the papers. See you in my cabin when you are done with this.”
“Yes sir!”
I am behind bars. After much persistence, efforts and coaxing, these people gave me your postal address. I hope this reaches you and you go through it without throwing it in the bin even before looking at it. Sorry for my harsh words, but kindly understand what state of mind I’m presently in.
I’ve been here in this dingy smelly lock up for the past 8 months. These guys arrested me from my work place. I’m a civil engineer, now after 27 years of experience, have got into the design aspect of construction. I’ve been presently working for the metro constructions in the capital, I mean I was working, till I got arrested. I’m sure you remember the major accident when the under construction pier fell down and led to a few people’s lives. I was one of the few who were arrested. It’s been a year now but I still remember every detail of the visual in front of my eyes. I was on site after the accident, but then when I saw the chaos and the disastrous outcome, I tried hiding my face somewhere, choking with guilt and shame. I was one of the chief designers of the metro bridge dissecting through that part of Delhi. Although it was not the first one to be built in Delhi, and we had done a few before, this one was the first of its kinds. It was crossing through a locality that had a steep diversion, and hence it was designed to have two piers rather than one central to keep the bridge balanced. It was accepted and approved by all governing authorities, and only then did we start with the construction. But once the construction began, slowly but surely we understood, at least I understood that it is going wrong. There wasn’t enough space for two piers, there are residential colonies on both sides and it will be majorly blocking or may be even crashing into them when the piers get made. I immediately informed my seniors and asked them to look into the matter, as the construction had just begun and it was still possible for a makeover.
The idea travelled sluggishly through the clogged arteries of the obese organization I was working in. It wasn’t accepted till they finally saw it themselves. And at that moment again, all designers were called and asked to brainstorm and find out a solution. In such cases, the only solution we felt could now solve was to make a single pier cantilever, removing the other. There are success cases of cantilever constructions within the city itself, so the proposed idea looked executable. But yet there was this problem. I saw it coming again. Since the original design of the bridge was through two piers, suddenly making it cantilever could result in a weak base. For such cases, the whole basic formation is different in a way that the balance is shifted completely on the beams.
I did not speak or discuss this with anyone, may be with this intuition that again nothing will be done about it till they themselves find out. I know I have been spineless in keeping quiet about it, and perhaps I even deserve a punishment. All I want from you sir is to not let this incident pass into people’s minds as such a basic error with a few designers being faulty at their jobs. There is much more to it which I’ve tried telling you through this confessional letter, more of which I’ll describe once I get a reply from you.
Thank you for your cooperation involved in the above stated matter,
Yours sincerely,
Krishna Iyer
My boss suddenly appeared on my desk,
“What’s up Arnab, any interesting letters today?”
“Yes sir, there are a couple, one is of this lady who says she was a prostitute in her past life, and she visits all her customers and her families everyday in her dreams, and that too sequentially and the other is…”
“Oh fantastic, I only have one column for you this week Arnab, get this lady on the papers. See you in my cabin when you are done with this.”
“Yes sir!”
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Oh i see!
Prasun: I wasn’t keen on finding what I wanted to do, it just happened so that I almost accidentally bumped into my ‘now successful’ career.
Journalist: Right. Sir, in your paintings we have seen a sense of self acceptance and assessment.. all your works have a distinct style and pattern. Is it a deliberate attempt?
Prasun: What ‘all’ have you seen by me?
Journalist: Sir for example ‘the cloudiest day’, ‘a girl in holi’, ‘priest of benaras’ and many such brilliant works, you have kept a distinguishing cow in black and white patches throughout… is it..?
Prasun: Well that’s quite precise I should say! Yes indeed, keeping the cow in these works is deliberate, for more reasons than one!
Journalist: Can we get to know at least one of those reasons (smiles)?
Prasun: What I’ll do is tell you the most common reason, and that is cow being the neutral observer in the paintings, everyone else has a part to play specifically. I try to keep this as a symbolic medium in my works to show that someone’s watching. The fact that I chose a cow and not a horse or even a human, may be purely for artistic reasons. But I’ve always believed that even if someone is masturbating in a dark room, when it is being made into a piece of art, someone should be watching. That’s how I see it. I’m not getting into the argument whether it’s right or wrong, but it is certainly the way I like it.
Journalist: Thank you sir, it was a pleasure talking to you.
Prasun: Thank you, my pleasure!
Journalist: Cut…Debu keep the camera in the car, I’ll just be there.
Debu: Ya ma’am.
Prasun: Would you like some coffee or tea miss…..?
Journalist: Megha… Sengupta
Prasun: Right….Miss Sengupta, some tea or coffee?
Megha: Thanks a lot sir, a tea would be great.
Prasun: Great, you can call your cameraman too inside…umm what’s his name…Debu right?
Megha: Right, he’ll be fine there sir!
Prasun: ok, whatever’s fine with you. Kaka, 2 cup chaa please..(shouts)
Megha: Sir since the camera is not here, can I ask you something more personal related to your works?
Prasun: Ofcourse, go ahead, don’t be intimidated, I’m not as bad as I look…(grins)
Megha: haha…no I meant if you don’t mind that is..
Prasun: Sure, I won’t, go ahead
Megha: I have this intuition that something went terribly wrong in your childhood may be, something you didn’t want to see…
Prasun: How the hell did you deduce that? (astonished) is it because I said I like a neutral observer in my paintings?
Megha: well yes.. and much more than that. I was a psychology student in my graduation, before coming into journalism..I had developed a nice knack of reading people’s minds..even now although I don’t practice, I do it quite successfully.
Prasun: Amazing…its an outstanding quality. I’m rather impressed.
Megha: (blushes) Thanks sir, but what I asked….
Prasun: oh yes.. coming to what you asked. You are quite close. I saw something not just what I didn’t want to see, but also what I was not supposed to see.
I used to be a rigorous cycler in my young days. One day when no one was home and I was asked to stay inside, I didn’t follow the orders and went cycling. Remember I was just 9 then. Suddenly on a T crossing joining the main road, I saw a shootout between the police and someone firing from inside his car. I saw the whole action till the firing ceased, the guy was killed. I later discovered that he had kept ammunitions at his place and had links with the naxals. But what really disturbed me was that he was one of our neighbors. As a nine year old, I wasn’t supposed to see all that. But I did. I didn’t even know how to spell naxals, but I saw its consequences.
Megha: My god, that’s a disturbing piece of experience, I wish I had recorded this…
By the way, lovely tea sir.
Prasun: Thank kaka, he’s been doing this all his life. Anyway, where you headed now?
Megha: I’ll have to leave for the edit now. Quite a lot pending. But I’ll keep in touch sir, I had a great time interviewing and speaking to you.
Prasun: same here miss sengupta..
Megha: call me megha..i’ll leave now sir, debu must be really angry. Goodbye sir, have a good day!
Prasun: thank you megha, bye..take care! Tell me when the interview will be aired..
Megha: sure sir, bye!
Kaka: Has the girl left babu..
Prasun: ya, why?
Kaka: I think she’ll come again. She is in love with you babu. I’ve been observing her all afternoon!
Journalist: Right. Sir, in your paintings we have seen a sense of self acceptance and assessment.. all your works have a distinct style and pattern. Is it a deliberate attempt?
Prasun: What ‘all’ have you seen by me?
Journalist: Sir for example ‘the cloudiest day’, ‘a girl in holi’, ‘priest of benaras’ and many such brilliant works, you have kept a distinguishing cow in black and white patches throughout… is it..?
Prasun: Well that’s quite precise I should say! Yes indeed, keeping the cow in these works is deliberate, for more reasons than one!
Journalist: Can we get to know at least one of those reasons (smiles)?
Prasun: What I’ll do is tell you the most common reason, and that is cow being the neutral observer in the paintings, everyone else has a part to play specifically. I try to keep this as a symbolic medium in my works to show that someone’s watching. The fact that I chose a cow and not a horse or even a human, may be purely for artistic reasons. But I’ve always believed that even if someone is masturbating in a dark room, when it is being made into a piece of art, someone should be watching. That’s how I see it. I’m not getting into the argument whether it’s right or wrong, but it is certainly the way I like it.
Journalist: Thank you sir, it was a pleasure talking to you.
Prasun: Thank you, my pleasure!
Journalist: Cut…Debu keep the camera in the car, I’ll just be there.
Debu: Ya ma’am.
Prasun: Would you like some coffee or tea miss…..?
Journalist: Megha… Sengupta
Prasun: Right….Miss Sengupta, some tea or coffee?
Megha: Thanks a lot sir, a tea would be great.
Prasun: Great, you can call your cameraman too inside…umm what’s his name…Debu right?
Megha: Right, he’ll be fine there sir!
Prasun: ok, whatever’s fine with you. Kaka, 2 cup chaa please..(shouts)
Megha: Sir since the camera is not here, can I ask you something more personal related to your works?
Prasun: Ofcourse, go ahead, don’t be intimidated, I’m not as bad as I look…(grins)
Megha: haha…no I meant if you don’t mind that is..
Prasun: Sure, I won’t, go ahead
Megha: I have this intuition that something went terribly wrong in your childhood may be, something you didn’t want to see…
Prasun: How the hell did you deduce that? (astonished) is it because I said I like a neutral observer in my paintings?
Megha: well yes.. and much more than that. I was a psychology student in my graduation, before coming into journalism..I had developed a nice knack of reading people’s minds..even now although I don’t practice, I do it quite successfully.
Prasun: Amazing…its an outstanding quality. I’m rather impressed.
Megha: (blushes) Thanks sir, but what I asked….
Prasun: oh yes.. coming to what you asked. You are quite close. I saw something not just what I didn’t want to see, but also what I was not supposed to see.
I used to be a rigorous cycler in my young days. One day when no one was home and I was asked to stay inside, I didn’t follow the orders and went cycling. Remember I was just 9 then. Suddenly on a T crossing joining the main road, I saw a shootout between the police and someone firing from inside his car. I saw the whole action till the firing ceased, the guy was killed. I later discovered that he had kept ammunitions at his place and had links with the naxals. But what really disturbed me was that he was one of our neighbors. As a nine year old, I wasn’t supposed to see all that. But I did. I didn’t even know how to spell naxals, but I saw its consequences.
Megha: My god, that’s a disturbing piece of experience, I wish I had recorded this…
By the way, lovely tea sir.
Prasun: Thank kaka, he’s been doing this all his life. Anyway, where you headed now?
Megha: I’ll have to leave for the edit now. Quite a lot pending. But I’ll keep in touch sir, I had a great time interviewing and speaking to you.
Prasun: same here miss sengupta..
Megha: call me megha..i’ll leave now sir, debu must be really angry. Goodbye sir, have a good day!
Prasun: thank you megha, bye..take care! Tell me when the interview will be aired..
Megha: sure sir, bye!
Kaka: Has the girl left babu..
Prasun: ya, why?
Kaka: I think she’ll come again. She is in love with you babu. I’ve been observing her all afternoon!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Beautiful Game
The playground near its corners was populated with numerous small groups of friends sitting and lazing around. Meanwhile, the 14 of us covered the majority of the pitch as we started with our routine daily match of football in the afternoon. Some had bunked classes to be there on time for the match. But it was worth it. The weather was outstanding, just ideal for a football match, cloudy yet breezy. There was no hint of sun. The whole look of the day was pretty grayish, almost monochromatic. The match hence was being played with higher spirits and zeal, higher energies. On a day like that, the stamina’s increased, everyone felt like running an extra yard, dribbling the ball through the midfield like a Brazilian, it was after all ‘the beautiful game’. Our college bags were kept together forming heaps to form the poles of goals. I used to be a player predominantly on the right wing. Hence I was closer to the students sitting in chunks of 4-5 near the boundaries and corners of the playground. Time and again it would so happen that the ball would roll out of play and hit one of them. I would go to them and ask for the ball, even say sorry if it had hit a girl. But then this time even though the ball did not roll out, I noticed a group of 3 students sitting quite close to the periphery of our playing area. No wonder why I noticed them. Gauri was there. I just knew her by her name and face. She was a year junior to me, in a different course, so there was no natural way of knowing each other. I was just so madly in love with her that I had to ask a common friend to introduce me to her. She also knew me by face and name, quite lame! We used to say ‘hi’ to each other whenever we crossed paths, but that was it. I grew weak in my knees whenever I used to see her. Now this was my chance. I was now extremely eager to impress her. So I went up to her and said ‘hi’. She replied back and said ‘hi’ too. What this did was that my presence was now felt. Now I would play skillfully and try and be brilliant, and hope gauri watches it. I did just that. I demanded the ball every time my team was attacking. I gave artistic first touches, carried the ball solo through, into the penalty box quite a few times. I absolutely did not realize that it had been raining for the past few minutes now. When I did, I immediately turned to check if gauri was still around. She wasn’t certainly sitting anymore. I scanned through the playground like a hawk, saw various couples standing under trees, ‘enjoying’ the young rain. I had lost track of the ball, my eyes wandered, in pain, just hoping to catch a glimpse of gauri somewhere. I think she saw me before I saw her, because what she did next was so out of the book for her. I noticed she was under the science block roof, but then she came out in the rain, closed her eyes, and let her arms wide open, embracing the rain. I wished if I could zoom into her face, look at the water droplets bouncing off her face, and some rolling through. She just looked immaculately beautiful. I’m not sure about this part, but I think I saw her smile and look at me. I just knew I had to propose to her, there can be no two ways about it.
I turned back and saw that all my football mates were gone. By now another friend of hers had joined gauri in the rain. I picked up my wet bag and went to my classroom. I didn’t feel like going back home, and I felt like coming to college again the next day as soon as possible. With mixed ideas, I came out of my class and started for my home. I met gauri again downstairs, chatting with her friends, as the rain had ended up into only a minor drizzle by now. She saw me coming downstairs and then towards her. I smiled and said ‘bye’, she smiled back and said ‘bye’ too.
I turned back and saw that all my football mates were gone. By now another friend of hers had joined gauri in the rain. I picked up my wet bag and went to my classroom. I didn’t feel like going back home, and I felt like coming to college again the next day as soon as possible. With mixed ideas, I came out of my class and started for my home. I met gauri again downstairs, chatting with her friends, as the rain had ended up into only a minor drizzle by now. She saw me coming downstairs and then towards her. I smiled and said ‘bye’, she smiled back and said ‘bye’ too.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The Adult film
Jatin, my younger brother, was just younger due to his chronological age. he had matured at 'all' levels more than me much before he saw his teens, and i was almost finishing my teens by then. i'm not sure of the reason how this happened, may be because our younger lot are exposed to television and internet a lot earlier than we were. add to that the intelligence jatin was gifted with, he learnt things faster than kids at his age would. hence his eagerness to know more was inevitable, and invariably it was not possible to stop him from knowing things that were necessarily adult.
i think what made the difference in his case was that he was so keen on growing up, and being the so called 'mature individual', that he couldn't just help killing the kid in him. i would take opinions from him regarding my relationships, dad would ask him on the possible solutions if there was a problem at his work place, mom would share her kitty party conflicts with him. what resulted was a jatin, with more than enough knowledge at his age, and hence an over confident 'under-aged adult'. he would needlessly comment on sachin's dismissal, as if he was a connoisseur of cricket, he would not see commercial films like 'ddlj' and 'kkhh' and rather watch something like a 'fire' or 'satya', almost deliberately trying to show off his taste of things. all this and much more irritated me.i don't know whether i was jealous, or pissed, but i was starting to hate him everyday. the problem i thought was the fact that he himself understood his gift. i feel more often than not, if someone has a special talent, the realization of that quality tends to make the person snobbish and uselessly arrogant. jatin knew a lot of things, true, period. but he was still 12, there were things even if he knew, he couldn't possibly have understood. then why the hell were we treating him like that, weren't we responsible for his wrong grooming?
even i was just 18, i could not have answered all the questions i had. i had to come up with my own solutions. i decided to prove to my parents, by hook or by crook, that jatin was growing up the wrong way. i wanted to prove them that he is not using his gift and channelizing it in the correct path, therefore resulting into a kid who's turned into a brat. atleast this would stop all the pampering he used to get at home.
for days i tried finding flaws in him, trying to peep into his classroom, his bedroom, and when he is all alone using the computer or watching television. i tried meeting his friends too, apprehending that they might tell me if jatin had been drinking alcohol or may be even taking drugs, through friends from senior classes. but nothing of that sort popped out.
after almost a month of rigorous spying and sleuthing on jatin, i almost lost hope. i was slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that he's truly gifted and that he deserves all the attention and accolade. after a point of time, i was so convinced, that i had started talking about him amidst my classmates, praising jatin for his amazing intellectuality at 12. all my friends wanted to meet him. after all he was in the same school. it wasn't very tough to bring him to my classroom during the lunch break and introduce him to my friends. i decided to bring him the next day. as i went back home, with excitement, and keenness to tell jatin that i would take him to my class tomorrow, i saw him standing next to my mother outside our gate. even from a distance i could make out that my mother was waiting for me, and due to some reason extremely anguished. as i went closer, something in her hand became visible. it was a video cd, with its cover. infact, it was indeed the video cd of the pornographic film i had borrowed from one of my friends. after a series of slaps, my mom disclosed that jatin found it on my study table, under my maths text book.
i think what made the difference in his case was that he was so keen on growing up, and being the so called 'mature individual', that he couldn't just help killing the kid in him. i would take opinions from him regarding my relationships, dad would ask him on the possible solutions if there was a problem at his work place, mom would share her kitty party conflicts with him. what resulted was a jatin, with more than enough knowledge at his age, and hence an over confident 'under-aged adult'. he would needlessly comment on sachin's dismissal, as if he was a connoisseur of cricket, he would not see commercial films like 'ddlj' and 'kkhh' and rather watch something like a 'fire' or 'satya', almost deliberately trying to show off his taste of things. all this and much more irritated me.i don't know whether i was jealous, or pissed, but i was starting to hate him everyday. the problem i thought was the fact that he himself understood his gift. i feel more often than not, if someone has a special talent, the realization of that quality tends to make the person snobbish and uselessly arrogant. jatin knew a lot of things, true, period. but he was still 12, there were things even if he knew, he couldn't possibly have understood. then why the hell were we treating him like that, weren't we responsible for his wrong grooming?
even i was just 18, i could not have answered all the questions i had. i had to come up with my own solutions. i decided to prove to my parents, by hook or by crook, that jatin was growing up the wrong way. i wanted to prove them that he is not using his gift and channelizing it in the correct path, therefore resulting into a kid who's turned into a brat. atleast this would stop all the pampering he used to get at home.
for days i tried finding flaws in him, trying to peep into his classroom, his bedroom, and when he is all alone using the computer or watching television. i tried meeting his friends too, apprehending that they might tell me if jatin had been drinking alcohol or may be even taking drugs, through friends from senior classes. but nothing of that sort popped out.
after almost a month of rigorous spying and sleuthing on jatin, i almost lost hope. i was slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that he's truly gifted and that he deserves all the attention and accolade. after a point of time, i was so convinced, that i had started talking about him amidst my classmates, praising jatin for his amazing intellectuality at 12. all my friends wanted to meet him. after all he was in the same school. it wasn't very tough to bring him to my classroom during the lunch break and introduce him to my friends. i decided to bring him the next day. as i went back home, with excitement, and keenness to tell jatin that i would take him to my class tomorrow, i saw him standing next to my mother outside our gate. even from a distance i could make out that my mother was waiting for me, and due to some reason extremely anguished. as i went closer, something in her hand became visible. it was a video cd, with its cover. infact, it was indeed the video cd of the pornographic film i had borrowed from one of my friends. after a series of slaps, my mom disclosed that jatin found it on my study table, under my maths text book.
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