During Turin

I and my wife always fight. Here’s one of our recent telephonic conversations:
Me: I hope you are coming on time…
Her: of course
Me: cool then, don’t get late
Her: whaaat?? Did you just say don’t get laid?
Me: whaaat?? Are you insane? Why will I say that, I said don’t get late, l for lousy, a for ass, t for torture, e for eternity!
Her: (on top of her lungs) how dare you speak to me like that?
Me: like what? I just was kind enough to spell out a word which is almost your middle name.
Her: no! That was deliberate. You could have said l for lovely a for….. you know….something like that.
Me: see..exactly. There are no nice words that would describe you. Even you could just remember ‘lovely’ spontaneously, which I agree you were 10 years back!
And this went on.
I had a friend working in Turin for long. He was the one who encouraged me to come to Italy, as he said many Asians, and particularly the ones from the subcontinent, come and earn a more than a decent living there. He had spoken about things which I had not heard of. Like one was this that there in Italian cities, people keep old stuff which they don’t want any more outside their houses, and the needful could take them to their homes without any restrictions! I was amazed on listening to such a custom. Though when I reached Italy, it was more of an ambitious dream coming true rather than putting logicalities together. I had seen beautiful and flamboyant pictures and scenes from films of Venice; I could have never imagined a place like that if I wouldn’t have seen them. My friend assured me of a job there with him, hence it was easier for me to come so far away from my country and work here. Now I’m in Naples. After a few months with my friend at Turin, I shifted base to Naples. Through a few Bangladeshi friends of my friend, I got contacts in Naples to get employed as the driver of Deigo Maradona. I drove from his place to the Stadio San Paolo where he practiced with the rest of his Napoli team mates, and then back to his place after the sessions. He used to drive himself whenever he went to parties or pubs in the night. People around me had started saying that Maradona is past his prime now, and that his genius is on the decline. From the little I understood of Maradona’s mobile conversations while he sat in the car as I drove him, I could make out that he was unhappy in his personal life, he was asking for drugs and women at his place late at night. I kept out of all this and did my job the way every driver should, and that was to drive him safely to his destination.
My wife arrived finally, but as expected half an hour late than what I had asked her to. We were in Turin, at the Delle Alpi, home of Juventus. This was Maradona’s big day. Italian Serie A champions was going to be virtually decided that eve, whoever wins would pick up the title. Infact Napoli had to win; Juventus was higher on goal difference so even a draw couldn’t have helped Maradona’s 11. He had given me 2 special passes for me and my wife for this match, something he had never done before. Here is how it went when my ‘not at all the better half’ arrived and sat beside me:
Her: We must win this one, we can’t afford a draw.
Me: We? Who are ‘we’?
Her: Napoli you idiot! We are from Naples, do you remember?
Me: Of course I remember, but since when have you become such an ardent follower of the Napoli football club?
Her: why else do you think I came here to watch a match with you? I have been a huge fan of Maradona since childhood.
Me: since childhood? How old are you?
Her: are you retarded? I’m your fucking wife; you don’t know how old am I?
I decided to stay quite then, it was fast becoming a scene infront of the sophisticated people we were sitting around. The match was being played mainly in the midfield, something that happens quite regularly in a clash of good Italian club teams as both defend par excellence.
Her: I wish we had Maldini in our defense line up, he would have single handedly stopped all these fuckers in black and white stripes! Besides he’s so cute!
Me: that’s all you like about him, women can only look at footballers in a frivolous way!
She gave me a stare, which told me I won’t be spared once we reach back home. But I was confident of what I said; I mean Napoli really didn’t have the budget to afford Maradona & Maldini in the same team. But expecting her to know all this was being foolish in itself. Football was not her ‘plate of pasta’ anyway. It was nil nil till almost closing time, when through a free kick awarded just outside the box, Maradona audaciously put the ball in the net with his majestic left foot. Delle Alpi burst out in a huge roar. Even though this was Juventus’s home ground, there were enough Napoli fans to make Turin feel like Naples for that moment. His teammates carried Maradona on their shoulders to the dressing room after full time.
Her: We won! We won! Forza Napoli!
She gave me a hug and kissed me on my cheek. It felt good. This had not happened for a long time.
Me: Yes! Yes! We are the 1990 Serie A champions! Yohoooooooooooooo…
I shouted. She had her left hand on my waist holding me tight and jumping with joy. We jumped together! Perhaps I felt my love for her again. One celebration together had made us come so near. She now looked the same effervescent girl I had fallen for in my virginity days. I wanted to make love to her now. I hadn’t kissed her lips for some time, and we hadn’t made love for a long time. She asked me to wait next to my car, as she left for the washroom. I waited for nearly 30 minutes, but that was understandable, as washrooms after the match are queued to long lengths, men and women waiting for their turn to use their respective lavatories. She came back and spoke almost with impatience.
Her: Where is Deigo Maradona?
Me: He must be in his dressing room with his teammates celebrating, why?
Her: aren’t you going to take him back to his hotel tonight?
Me: No, he will be partying with his friends. He’ll be on his own.
Her: Can you please take me there?
Me: Where?
Her: To the place he’s going to party…
Me: What? Why?
Her: Listen…I’ll tell you everything, please take me to him right now!