Dada,
Forgive me for being extremely nostalgic, do you remember the Barasaat days? When you were giving your boards or something and i started playing cricket with your group in the ground below? I just remembered this one evening out of a sudden today.
That evening i was playing with Yogesh & others and you were sitting in the balcony. Its funny how i exclaim them as Yogesh and others! Anyway, i was in the side bowling first. I got to bowl a couple of overs, only because i was your younger brother. These guys were absolutely smitten by your left arm 'god knows what' bowling, and never had a clue whether it would swing or it would spin once the ball came out of your thin left arm and stick like fingers. I, on the contrary, as you know had a very conventional right arm bowling talent, without much guile and variation, but would bowl wicket to wicket and had a good yorker. Hence, in a match within friends in a colony park, i was an useful bowler, but never the talisman you were. The two overs i bowled that day, i don't remember much, but what happened after we started to bat is what i remember clearly.
We were chasing a huge total since Yogesh had made the ball vanish quite a few times with his monstrous hits while we bowled to him. In our side too, we had these lanky boys who could hit long sixes, almost as if they were playing golf, but this evening it almost seemed as if the match was fixed. None of the hitters from our side could put bat to ball, instead, the wickets were far more consistent in connecting with the ball that evening.The ball got lost when i finally got to bat and hit the ball in the bushes. No one could find it since it was almost dark, the ball's light green outer cover had already gotten peeled and only the dark grey colored rubber had survived, thanks to Yogesh's ruthless hammering earlier in the evening and the numerous times the ball got wet due to falling in the drain next to the park. It hence became almost impossible to spot the dark grey ball in the bushes in paucity of light.
I came back & you asked me in the balcony- "They didn't allow you to bat, right? "
I replied- " No, they did, but the ball got lost.."
I did not feel like answering or explaining anymore. I felt more enraged with your question, since it was true. I was asked to bat only at the end after everyone else was dismissed, and if i had been given a chance to bat a little earlier, i would have batted longer, if not won it for my team.
I still remember the way you looked at me after asking me. I know that look, of pity, concern, love, and genuine sadness for your brother's insignificance to our playing group. And i know it wasn't only because i was your younger brother, it was also because you knew i was better than a lot of players in the ground, and that i deserved an equal chance. I know it was also because of the way you looked at the game, the way a civil engineer looks at a flyover, because you believed a good player should get a fair opportunity, and it was intolerable to you if it didn't happen.
After almost 15 years today i write about this to you, to thank you for that question. A question which gave me respect, an identity, atleast in your eyes. Sometimes, that's all it needs...
From your ignorant younger brother,
Love
Forgive me for being extremely nostalgic, do you remember the Barasaat days? When you were giving your boards or something and i started playing cricket with your group in the ground below? I just remembered this one evening out of a sudden today.
That evening i was playing with Yogesh & others and you were sitting in the balcony. Its funny how i exclaim them as Yogesh and others! Anyway, i was in the side bowling first. I got to bowl a couple of overs, only because i was your younger brother. These guys were absolutely smitten by your left arm 'god knows what' bowling, and never had a clue whether it would swing or it would spin once the ball came out of your thin left arm and stick like fingers. I, on the contrary, as you know had a very conventional right arm bowling talent, without much guile and variation, but would bowl wicket to wicket and had a good yorker. Hence, in a match within friends in a colony park, i was an useful bowler, but never the talisman you were. The two overs i bowled that day, i don't remember much, but what happened after we started to bat is what i remember clearly.
We were chasing a huge total since Yogesh had made the ball vanish quite a few times with his monstrous hits while we bowled to him. In our side too, we had these lanky boys who could hit long sixes, almost as if they were playing golf, but this evening it almost seemed as if the match was fixed. None of the hitters from our side could put bat to ball, instead, the wickets were far more consistent in connecting with the ball that evening.The ball got lost when i finally got to bat and hit the ball in the bushes. No one could find it since it was almost dark, the ball's light green outer cover had already gotten peeled and only the dark grey colored rubber had survived, thanks to Yogesh's ruthless hammering earlier in the evening and the numerous times the ball got wet due to falling in the drain next to the park. It hence became almost impossible to spot the dark grey ball in the bushes in paucity of light.
I came back & you asked me in the balcony- "They didn't allow you to bat, right? "
I replied- " No, they did, but the ball got lost.."
I did not feel like answering or explaining anymore. I felt more enraged with your question, since it was true. I was asked to bat only at the end after everyone else was dismissed, and if i had been given a chance to bat a little earlier, i would have batted longer, if not won it for my team.
I still remember the way you looked at me after asking me. I know that look, of pity, concern, love, and genuine sadness for your brother's insignificance to our playing group. And i know it wasn't only because i was your younger brother, it was also because you knew i was better than a lot of players in the ground, and that i deserved an equal chance. I know it was also because of the way you looked at the game, the way a civil engineer looks at a flyover, because you believed a good player should get a fair opportunity, and it was intolerable to you if it didn't happen.
After almost 15 years today i write about this to you, to thank you for that question. A question which gave me respect, an identity, atleast in your eyes. Sometimes, that's all it needs...
From your ignorant younger brother,
Love
Wow..is all i can say at this moment. if u could see me in HD quality, u might just see my eyes swell. Thanks for bringing back those old memories. Even though I dont remember this particular afternoon, I definitely remember the tiny brat called Yogesh, who seemed to consider himself the king of E block. As you said correctly, its the small things which matter. Let me tell you, you might have been envious of my cricketing reputation back in the days, but I definitely am of you & the choices you have made to pick your chosen career. Coz i still dont know what i am really good at, except cricket ie. But wud tht have been a good career choice, dont know. Never reached that stage.
ReplyDeletetouched
ReplyDeleteI still remember that day.tears flowing all over my face while reading the emotional writings of my sons.i'm blessed to have such children.That particular day the elder one was sleeping in the afternoon,while the younger one went to play cricket with the colony boys.yes it was the the year of his board exam,the brother didn't wake up his dada,assuming it would effect his studies.but when my elder son woke up,and heard that the boys including his brother had gone to play,he burst into tears,like a small child.and told me sobbing,why didn"t they call him to play.He just couldn't believe,that without calling him,how could they play.such was his love for cricket.i think it still remains same passion..thanks Ritwik.for reminding us such small but emotional moment.
ReplyDeletea lovely recollection... to remember and re-tell a precise emotion experienced years ago, takes a lot of skill and craft. And more importantly it takes a great deal of sincerety. kudos, to you for bridging the gap between a mundane memoir and a mesmerizing narrative.
ReplyDeletePlaying cricket is still my passion n hitting balls far off is still my habit. The little brat is a grown up brat ( just kidding )
ReplyDeleteThank you Ritwik. It is good to see mention of yogesh in your memoirs. One of the best memories of childhood. Though your this letter to bhappa is about your one evening however it has taken me to those golden days of being a young carefree lad. As rightly quoted by bhappa, yeah I use to feel like king of E block (though it's not feel guess I was;-)) jokes apart i still do remember both of u very clearly n feel happy u remember me fr either good or bad reasons 😉..bhappa to me ws someone i looked upto though i nvr let him know dat probably bcoz of being a brat n cud b bcoz of his playing skills wch surely ws way better dan mine.. Thanks to u ritwik for taking me down to memory lanes n relaxing fr a while in between hectic life..
Very unique post.Thanks for share this informative post.
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