25 minutes

This was the last thing i wanted to do. i was never one of those guys who would push boundaries. in cases like this one, if i like a girl, it remained that way till the time i got out of touch. but from my end my feelings were never communicated to the other person.
i was on the bus stand, looking at the waiting fellow passengers, who would board the bus with me. we had been waiting for around 5 minutes now. all this while when i looked at them for the last 5 minutes, although i stared at them, but with each face came a different thought in my perplexed mind. as i moved from face to face, i imagined the various consequences that could result from my actions. i imagined mrigya not opening the door at all, and me standing outside her gate and sweating the same way as i was at this moment thinking about it waiting for the bus. almost out of a blur, the bus arrived. the blur was perhaps of my coming back to present reality, almost the way its visualised in films. we boarded the bus in a civilized and decent way, everyone moving up in a que, something i've come to appreciate about mumbai. i took a window seat, a preferance all kids have, neither was i out of that mode yet. with the unbearable humidity in the city, a bus ride without a window seat could prove to be quite 'saline' indeed! anyway, as the bus moved, my mind blurred back to imaginary sequences of my trying to convince mrigya that all she needs to do is give me one chance. i saw myself telling her that it was ok if she's not in love with me initially, as i'm certain if she gives me that extra liberty of 'being more than just friends', slowly but surely she would fall in love with me someday. i would happily wait for that day, and till then make her happy with the best of my love. i saw myself telling her that i've never loved someone so selflessy, and that i could even be a dog to be with her. i saw her giggling at this, giving an expression through her eyes as if i've lost it. i loved her eyes, they justified her name. i loved her name.
the bus halted due to traffic. we had been in the bus for around 15 minutes by now. ideally it should take me 10 more minutes to reach her place, but the jam could really screw it up. even though i enjoyed all these imaginary sequences going through my mind, i mean all that was missing was a song & dance sequence like in films, but yet i couldn't wait any longer to speak to mrigya. my abdomen was feeling the cramps of anxiety and tension, and apprehension, and what not! the bus halted irritatingly at all bus stands which were amazingly,just a few metres away from the traffic signal. time and again it would so happen that the bus would stop at the stand when the signal's green, and when it moved, the signal was red again, the bus halting inevitably again, delaying my arrival at mrigya's place. at around in 10 more minutes, god knows how, i deboarded the bus, at the stand closest to her place.

these 25 minutes are like a trophy of rememberance for me. i didn't get mrigya in my life as my love interest, and i never will, but that little journey i had made will remain with me as the longest relation i've shared with anyone. even my wife knows about it. i'm sure my kids will too, once they are born.