Love you Maa!

Dr. Biswas came in. We were frantically waiting for him for the past half an hour. My mother’s case needed special attention. It wasn’t a casual case anymore. But to our horror and surprise, none of the hospitals with famous psychiatrists could get hold of the case till now. Dr. Biswas was one of our last hopes in the city. His failure would mean shifting my mother to a hospital may be in Delhi or Bombay. We were asked to leave, once he entered, and only his two assistant nurses were allowed to stay back.
She has been one of the most affable humans you would see, all her life. She was married to the kitchen more than my father, and what she cooked was more beautiful than her kids, including me! The fulcrum of the family never got imbalanced because of her control and hold over herself. There were times when dad returned home late and drunk, and both me and my sister used to cry with the sight of him behaving so unusually and flaw fully with a slurring speech, but my mother somehow kept her cool and never reacted in a way that could end up being scarier for us. It was always the next morning my mother used to give him a hard time, to whatever little extent she could. Once on asking she explained that reacting on the same night would not help, as your father is not going to remember anything the next morning. I found it a very sensible answer, and I don’t expect it from a lot of women, sorry.
Dr. Biswas came out of his examining room and asked us to join him in his cabin. He said he could not find any real disorder in maa, and she was alright according to him. We told him about the unusual incidents that have taken place in the last couple of months, and all he had to reason them was that they were apparently stress related disorders and are very common in city life, so there was nothing to worry. We decided to take his word and went back to our place with contentment that maa would recover slowly if we give her mental peace and space.
Dad could not win the custody case of his children after divorce, and this had anguished him so much that he stopped all communications with his ex wife and children. Me and Nivedita, my sister, missed him periodically but were kind of comfortable with maa being the head of the family after her divorce. She was undoubtedly the better guardian, but perhaps the fact that now she had to work also simultaneously made things a little difficult for her. My dad wasn’t regular in paying his alimony amount he was supposed to every month to maa, and it made maa more tensed about how she’s going to manage growing up her two kids over a long period of time. He was supposed to pay 15 grand each month, which rarely happened. More often than not we would receive a cheque of 15,000 after 4-5 months, and the legal system had enough loopholes for my father to trick it and avoid paying every month. My mother was working as a handicraft artist with her friend who ran a local shop, and hence did not have a satisfactory salary. Yet we managed, and pretty well at that. I and nivu, both, became very strong willed and focused, unlike other kids of our age. We were great in our academics, and we knew from an early age that we had to do everything possible to make our mother happy from whatever we could, because otherwise there was no reason for her to smile. Both of us were toppers in our respective classes till we passed out of school, and we made maa proud.
Now again we faced the same situation. Nivu was married, so eventually she would go back to her husband’s place in Tollygunj. So maa was mostly my responsibility now. Even on my way back home from hospital, I had started thinking about what all duties of hers’ can be eliminated temporarily so that she does not worry about them and can rest. One of her major behavioral changes that cropped up around from 2 months back was that she could not eat anything else other than rice. It was mind boggling. She would be adamant that food items like paneer, chicken, mutton are costly and simple vegetables along with pulses and rice are healthier yet cheap. She had reduced her sleeping hours explaining that she would stitch more and earn more. This was not acceptable, because I was settled with a good job, earning a lot more than to be just comfortable for the both of us. Nivu’s wedding expenses were also covered by me and it went pretty fine. So basically there was no logic to what she was doing. I atleast understood, I don’t care if the doctors didn’t, that all this is a part of her mental sickness, her struggle to earn and give us a comfortable childhood in all her prime age was now taking a toll on her brain. Another of her many recent changes was that she would vomit anything she ate first up after waking up in the morning within 5 minutes of consuming it. And only after 3-4 hours of her being awake could she gulp down any solid food without throwing it up. This also according to the doctors was a stress syndrome.
I used to reach home around 8 in the evening from my office, and used to leave by 9 in the morning, so I had to keep a maid just for maa who would take care of her in my absence. In a matter of a few months, with serious efforts, her condition improved. She got friendly with the maid and enjoyed her company. She started eating a much varied diet which Asha, the maid, cooked for her. I returned home drunk one night, and raped Asha, in the kitchen.
Maa is fighting a case against me since then, trying to prove me guilty for the crime. I’m trying to prove that she’s mentally sick.